Fuck depression

Write like no one is reading.
Because, really, no one is reading.

I hate my depression.
I hate that no matter how good my life is, it’s here. Needly teeth. Gnawing.
I hate that there is no ‘getting better’ there’s just various gradations of gray.
Today I have this vague invisible feeling. It’s pervasive. I’ve done all the self care things and still, I feel it. Like everything that’s good will go away.
Nothing matters. It doesn’t matter how grateful I am for the people around me, or the things I have that are good.
I hate this feeling. It won’t go away.