Every year, I make resolutions. Every year, I keep most of them. Making goals is my jam. I love it. If I can include a countdown or numbers on a scale, sign me tf up. Numbers of books read, numbers of miles run, numbers of words written. Yes. All of that.

This year, I made resolutions, though it probably speaks volumes to my mental state that it is now February and I have not shared them.

I blame 2020. For so many things. For one, it has shaken my faith in humanity, and that persistent intrusive thought telling me that people don’t care, it has never been louder.

But it doesn’t matter, because I care. Apparently too much. Last week, my Mom reminded me that I trust too completely and love too fully. She said I always put too much faith in people. Well, I’m 46. I guess that’s just the way of.

However, I am making goals of a different sort for 2021. The overarching one is to not give myself so completely to people who barely care to understand me. A second goal, but just as important, is to start seeing my agoraphobia as a gift instead of a curse. No longer will I feel guilty for not having the energy to socialize (even on zoom). And no longer will I give time and love to people who either reject or judge me for who I am. I know I’m weird; I always have been. I have depression and oddly-specific special interests and quirks. But I am a good person, even if I am tender-hearted and na├»ve. It hurts when I’m the outlier in most every Venn diagram, but there are certain people who get that. This year, I’m gonna focus my love on them. You’ve been warned ?

That was really hard to type out. Generally, I prefer goals that can be quantified, and the ones above can’t be measured. Still, they needed to be said, err, typed.

The next section will help me balance out what’s intangible with things that are tangible.

Health Goals:
1. Run a 15K
2. Lose back down to my ideal weight. I’m only 6 lbs off right now.
3. Continue eating well
4. Glasses?

Career Goals:
1. Submit Sea Glass to a contest. It’s the best thing I’ve ever written. It should have a bigger audience.
2. Re-write Weathervane as an original novel
3. My answer to all freelance is NO.

Personal Goals:
1. Continue to seek ways to be more generous
2. Work on the 3-year plan to visit Aki and Linda
3. Possibly a wedding and honeymoon, if COVID restrictions lift
4. Take a vacation of at least one week to a place we’ve never been
5. Book a room in the Faust Hotel for my Dad’s birthday (nobody tell him; it’s a surprise)

Reading Goals:
1. 26 books, five of which are translated novels

Writing Goals:
1. Write at least four more stories for Taejinbingo
2. See above re: career goals

Thank you for reading ? and I hope you all have a wonderful year.